In an interconnected world, and recognizing this perspective is from a place of privilege, children near or afar from conflict zone, often encounter challenging topics such as global conflicts. For parents, the decision of when and how to address this could be a tall order. Unfortunately, ‘when’ is no longer discretionary as it is dictated by children’s curiosity, exposure to mainstream news and social media as well as peers.

This dilemma becomes even more poignant when considering the impact on children’s emotional well-being. Take, for instance, the experience of my four-year-old child who learnt about war and the recent events in Gaza either through unknown TV exposure or eavesdropping to the conversations outside or through direct conversations with peers or older children in his circle. knowing that children are experiencing war disrupted his sleep, he is angry, sad, and repeatedly asks his loved ones to do something for the children. Undoubtedly, his overall well-being has been impacted, his sense of a safe world, as a child shattered. I ask myself as a mother, how does a child internalize the grim reality that children are routinely getting killed in numerous conflicts around the world, and adults can’t always protect them.

This scenario underscores the crucial role parents and professionals play in guiding the children through the stark realities of the world we live in, where, despite best efforts, we cannot shield and protect children from the ongoing brutality and consequential trauma. There is of course a sense of helplessness here but this can be somewhat negated by the below steps,

Understanding and Observing: Parents, faced with the challenge of addressing sensitive subjects like global conflicts and whether the child is directly or indirectly afflicted, can of course seek experts’ advice. We at ATIC as per our core, our methodology, and central to our Early Intervention model, incorporate play, and by observing children’s play together with verbal and non-verbal communication, enables parents to gain insight into their child’s inner workings and tailor discussions accordingly, and importantly create a safe space for open communication.

Based on my clinical perspective there has been an increase in anxiety across all ages, adults, children and young people who are to a varying degree, emotionally affected because of the war. Themes similarly emerge in play, conflict between good and bad forces, with a hope to expel a threat, and in so doing, psychologically affording themselves relief that they are now safe, often with a need for a superhero to take charge and make it all better.

A research area of mine, alongside my colleagues (Natalia Gomez-Carlier and Mariam El Halawani), is understanding and supporting trauma from a regional perspective. Research suggests that the Middle East has a lifelong prevalence of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and sadly, often showing up and treated initially for anxiety and panic. However, the root cause is many a time, earlier or repeated experiences of war, trauma which have been under-supported psychologically. The issue as identified by many professionals is that the wider region has never been given opportunity for the trauma to be ‘post’, it is ongoing perpetually, so it seems. This has led me to have many conversations with parents who have blind spots (naturally) when it comes to their children’s experience or perceived notion of the war, which is usually less of a ‘direct’ experience, thankfully.

Open Communication: Children ought to have a safe space for open communication to address whatever they view as troublesome. This is not an easy topic to broach, difficult to put in words to a child, and even harder to explain the intricacies of geopolitics and root causes in a language that children can easily understand and is acceptable. In an era of social media and constant news updates, open communication is crucial. Limiting exposure to news is a must. Regular check-ins, without anxious probing, enable children to express their thoughts and feelings comfortably. Establishing such communication becomes pivotal in alleviating the emotional impact of distant conflicts on children.

Responding to Questions: Do not ignore direct questions, they will otherwise seek information from elsewhere. Encourage them to tell you what they already know, how they feel and tell them they can ask you any question and tell them you may not have the answer for every question but will look to find the answer. Navigating questions from young children requires a delicate balance of honesty and sharing age-appropriate information. Provide factual and yet brief answers, acknowledge the tragedy of a gruesome conflict, grief, and emphasize the value of managing conflict without resorting to violence, without diminishing the value of standing up for yourself when required. It is important as parents to think of framing conflict, any conflict between groups of people, be mindful that children can reduce information, fantasize even, which may place barriers later to diversity and inclusion and manifest prejudice. Transparent communication, free of language inducing anxiety, is essential.

Validate their Feelings: It is important that as parents we speak to our children about how they feel, and we give the children this space. It is crucial that children feel supported in their conversation. They should not feel judged or have their concerns dismissed or even minimized. When children are given an opportunity to be heard and receive an honest response, this can provide a child with a feeling of relief.

Navigating a Lack of Control: While the instinct might be to shield younger children from distressing news, it’s crucial to recognize the limited control over exposure to information regarding the prevailing conflict. It’s important to convey to children that solving this issue is not within their purview as children and reassure them that adults are actively working towards a resolution.

Nevertheless, we can contribute by prioritizing the development of resilience, emphasizing on problem-solving skills, and showcasing determination and unity as pivotal strategies. Shifting conversations towards emotions and human resilience, highlighting humanitarian efforts and contribution to local charitable causes, provide children with the means to make a positive impact and assuage feelings of helplessness, while maintaining a realistic expectation that adults are responsible for solving the larger issue. This approach may also prove effective in alleviating anxiety.

Additionally, sharing prayers and fostering a sense of unity within the family are meaningful practices for offering support and reinstating a feeling of safety.

Discussing conflicts with children necessitates a considerate and Individualized approach. By integrating play-based interventions, maintaining open communication, and using age-appropriate language, parents can guide their children through challenging conversations during times of uncertainty. Focusing on actionable steps helps cultivate a sense of security in children affected by war.