Sara Powell Art Psychotherapist HCPC, UK Reg
Interracial marriages are on the rise, especially due to globalization interlinking communities worldwide and the Gulf region is no exception. I accompanied my son just the other day to a birthday party and was surprised to see how many of his peers and their families were similar to mine. My thoughts throughout are personal to me, and intended to be thought provoking, but of course cannot be generalized. My children are not the first nor will they be the last biracial children out there. However, they are considered a minority and as their mother I am also mixed, and yep transgenerational patterns are real, clearly in my case! Added to this, I am a third culture kid who moved from England to the Gulf at the age of 12, my point here is identity within my world and my children’s is multi-layered, similar but yet different!
Identity and biracial identity development are important considerations. How we view ourselves is linked to how we think others perceive us. So, how are biracial children perceived? This is of course something beyond children and parents’ control, it could be favorable, accepting, inclusive or it could be tarred with racial bigotry, misunderstanding and marginalization. Identity formation begins at birth. From the very day my son was born, I would hear “does he look more English or more Arab?”, there was and still is an anxiety surrounding learning the Arabic language, making sure he would not feel “foreign” in his own country and able to communicate with elder family members. I soon realized that biracial children may be met with increased anxiety, an anxiety that was transmittable, as a parent, I felt an overwhelming anticipation of possible discrimination at some point. I looked up existing research on this subject, it was interesting to read “future research should address the attitudes of the family and the society toward mixed marriage; the causes and the consequences of mixed marriage on individuals” the word “causes” stood out for me, perhaps insinuating (to me) it’s a cause rooted in concern. What is underpinned here is perhaps a fear for difference, so what if there is a difference? Sadly, fearing difference can evolve into a child internalizing this and feeling different which naturally undermines one’s sense of belonging. To belong, to be an integral or inseparable part of, is especially important in tribal societies. Early on I learnt to curb the anxiety, channel it to become productive as a parent, in ways of supporting my child’s inclusion, by mitigating potential societal pitfalls. As a mother I looked to readily embrace my sons’ culture, for example, from very early days, making sure on a Friday at least he would get used to wearing traditional clothes, a connection to the religion and practices which are the foundation of the culture, though, I needed to embrace his culture without erasing mine, although there is one dominating culture. Also, I was very aware of conflicting cultural norms, at times, which would not serve the child if left unspoken or unresolved. As parents, it’s helpful to identify this early on.
There are however undeniable strengths assigned to biracial children, their ability to navigate between two or more cultures, that in itself is an art, particularly when the cultures are widely different, creating at times misunderstanding, confusions and even conflicts. Nonetheless, it can create opportunities for children to learn from a very young age to be culturally sensitive and embrace difference. Research suggests that biracial children, are uniquely prepared to deal with challenges concerning differences amongst people, cultures, and tend to be more resilient to societal discrimination. Interestingly, when parents proactively help their biracial children to identify with both parents’ racial heritage, seemingly biracial children enjoy higher self-esteem compared to their mono-racial peers. Also, they have the ability to be flexible with respect to identity which may be viewed as a strength by some and weakness by others. They are generally very adaptable, as they can function within both environments.
Photo by lauren lulu taylor on Unsplash
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