Aarti Odhrani Clinical Psychologist MSc.
Raising a gifted child is a unique yet rewarding journey that can be filled with challenges and delights. Gifted children have an exceptional set of skills and abilities that set them apart from other children and they require appropriate guidance and support from caregivers to help them develop their full potential. However, parents sometimes struggle to find the right information on how they can cater to their children’s specific needs.
Defining Giftedness: There are various definitions and criteria for defining giftedness. According to the National Association for Gifted Children, “the term gifted and talented means students, children, or youth who give evidence of high achievement capability in such areas as intellectual, creative, artistic, or leadership capacity, or specific academic fields, and who need services or activities not ordinarily provided by the school to fully develop those capabilities.” As per this definition, giftedness is not limited exclusively to intellectual ability or academic performance. It includes an advanced skillset in specific areas such as creative thinking, visual or performing arts, and leadership.
Gifted children often display vast vocabularies, good memory, advanced comprehension, a wide range of interests, and a vivid imagination. However, there is a common misconception that these children are gifted in all areas. In reality, some may be good in one or two areas and also learning disabled in another area or have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (often referred to as “twice exceptional”). Children who are gifted often have specific social, emotional, and educational needs and may exhibit certain characteristics like emotional intensity, heightened sensitivity, or idealism, which can pose challenges in the future.
Parents and caregivers can provide a supportive environment by making themselves aware of common misconceptions and addressing the specific needs of their children. For instance:
Gifted children tend to experience intense emotions in response to situations. Parents can acknowledge their children’s intense emotions and help them develop self-awareness. They can set aside time to listen to them, so they feel valued and accepted.
Gifted children can be sensitive to the emotions of others. Parents can create an environment of open communication by encouraging the sharing of feelings and experiences without any judgment. This can help deal with potential misunderstandings, develop healthy self-talk, and model appropriate conversational and interpersonal skills.
Gifted children may appear to be emotionally mature due to their advanced abilities. Parents need to be aware of the asynchronous development in gifted children and the disparity between intellectual, emotional, and social maturity. By managing their expectations and engaging in age-appropriate conversations with their children, parents can avoid severe emotional and social problems later in life.
Gifted children may struggle with perfectionism and pressure to excel academically, which can lead to stress and anxiety. Perfectionist tendencies can lead to overachievement at the cost of physical or mental health or personal relationships, and in some cases, it can lead to procrastination or underachievement. Parents can work on increasing awareness of unhealthy perfectionism and viewing mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow. As they encourage children to maintain reasonable expectations, an emphasis can be placed on progress rather than perfection.
Gifted children may experience a lack of challenge, which may lead to reduced motivation and academic underperformance. This situation can lead to feelings of frustration for both the child and those around them. Parents can support by providing opportunities for their children to explore their interests through extracurricular activities or specialized programs designed for gifted students. Encouraging their children to set goals and take on more responsibility can also be beneficial. Additionally, parents can communicate with the school to request advanced coursework or other accommodations to better support their child’s intellectual growth.
Gifted children may have few friends due to a possible preference to spend time alone. They may have difficulty finding like-minded peers who share common interests, or they may lack the skills required to form friendships. Parents can help by encouraging their children to join clubs or activities with like-minded peers, carve out time for friends, and practice friendship-related skills with them.
Parenting a gifted child requires a tremendous amount of patience, understanding, and a proactive approach. By providing a nurturing environment that supports their holistic development and prioritizes overall well-being, parents can help their gifted children deal with their challenges and reach their true potential.
References: (No date) Fact or fiction – Western Kentucky University. Available at: https://www.wku.edu/gifted/resources/ksba-toolkit-items/fact-fiction-quiz.pdf (Accessed: 14 January 2024).
Davidson Institute (2023) What is giftedness?: Gifted definition & meaning, Davidson Institute. Available at: https://www.davidsongifted.org/gifted-blog/what-is-giftedness/ (Accessed: 14 January 2024).
Webb, J.T. et al. (2007) A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children. Scottsdale, Arizona: Great Potential Press, Inc.
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