Seeing a close friend or family member struggle with mental illness can evoke a lot of feelings from sadness, helplessness, frustration, and confusion. Not only is it challenging to witness symptoms persist, but it may be difficult to know how to support them during these hard times. Mental illness is wide-ranging, and each individuals’ experience may vary. This blog will highlight some of the ways in which you may be able to understand and help support a loved one who may be struggling.
Spotting the warning signs:
First and foremost, it is important to recognize warning signs. Signs and symptoms vary but some more common examples that are be linked to mental health struggles may include changes in appetite, sleep patterns, routine, social withdrawal, inability, or lack of interest in engaging in their usual activities and lowered functioning at work or at school. It is important to take notice and address concerns early as untreated symptoms may worsen over time. Preventative measures and early intervention can lower this from occurring.
Being mindful of stigma and misconceptions:
It is also crucial to be mindful of any stigma, bias, or misconceptions you may have around some of the behaviors or symptoms related to mental health. How you treat your loved one has a big impact on their well-being. It is very important that criticism is held back, and compassion is at the core of your interactions with someone who is struggling mentally. This may also support in them accepting your support and engaging in getting professional help. Research shows that individuals of families who expressed judgement or criticism towards their loved one (e.g., being lazy or too sensitive) showed exacerbated symptoms, longer recovery times, difficulty reaching out for help and higher chance of relapse. Encouraging and compassionate gestures, conveying hope and recognizing their courage and progress all go a long way.
Starting the conversation:
Starting a conversation with the person you are concerned about may be daunting for many but is a crucial part of caring for them. You may feel unprepared or lacking in information but you don’t need to be an expert or have all the information to approach these conversations effectively. Start by expressing concern, being patient and creating space to actively listen. Using “I’ statements such as “I feel concerned…”, “I have noticed..”, “I am worried about you..” or “I am wondering about..” may be helpful in opening conversations mindfully. Avoid “you” statements such as “You are..” “You should..” as this may be perceived as judgment and trigger defensiveness, withdrawing or even shut down. Encourage them to speak to a mental health professional and remind them that seeking support is a sign of strength. They may also need your help initiating the process. This may look like finding the right professional, driving them to or accompanying them to their appointments.
Educating yourself:
If there is a diagnosis that you are aware of, it is useful to educate yourself on symptoms and behaviors that may be linked to it. Not being informed on how illnesses may present in daily life has the potential to create misconceptions and prevent individuals from receiving effective support from loved ones. Research shows that when families engage in psychoeducation, they are more likely to be a part of the treatment process, learn tools to adaptively support individuals and consequently, individuals experience a reduction in symptoms, faster recovery, and relapse. There are a variety of accessible and reputable resources online to help educate families and loved ones about mental health. The more aware you are, the more you can validate their experience and offer informed suggestions.
Getting your own support:
You may also need support during this process. It is important that you are taking care of yourself while taking care of a loved one with mental illness. Be mindful of your capacity to give and acknowledge your own limits. Stay connected to your support system and make sure to reach out for support if you need too. There may also be support groups available in your city/area that you may want to be a part of.
References:
Helping a Loved One Cope with Mental Illness. (n.d.). https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/helping-a-loved-one-cope-with-mental-illness
How to Support Someone with Mental Illness. (2020, February 10). Brain & Behavior Research Foundation. https://www.bbrfoundation.org/blog/how-support-someone-mental-illness
How to Help a Loved One With Mental Illness. (2016, May 17). Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-ways-to-support-a-loved-one-with-serious-mental-illness#4
Supporting a family member with serious mental illness. (2019, August 27). https://www.apa.org. https://www.apa.org/topics/mental-health/support-serious-mental-illness
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